The Canadian Friend

November-December 1997

Canadian Friend home page

 A Sojourn with Mount Airy Friends Church

Jane Stokes - Vancouver MM

A year ago, after my husband Paul's return from Belarus, we packed up our young family (then 2½ years and 4 months) and headed for North Caroline to enjoy family and the Blue Ridge mountains. I looked forward with both curiosity and excitement to being attenders at a Friends' church for a few months.

Paul and I had attended Mount Airy Friends' Church occasionally over the last few years on trips south but this would be different. This church, built of local granite, has stained glass, choir stalls--much of the physical structure of the non-conformist churches that I remember in England. At first it was almost impossible for me to turn off the little "judgement voice" inside. The little voice that said "real Friends don't...dress up on Sundays, wear choir robes, use hymnals, pass a collection plate...and drink coca-cola out of Styrofoam cups."

While I focussed on the externals I anticipated a reaction to me. Would I be accepted: jeans, Birkenstocks, nursing baby and all? My experience was of gentle modesty, warm welcome and non-intrusive interest--in short, acceptance.

Paul and I participated at our individual comfort levels. Ruthie loved being in the nursery and Anya fell for a member of the choir who would make eye contact with her and smile at her cooing through the hymns. Willie Frye's sermons were a highlight of my week, examining current social issues and theology with a vibrancy I had been missing for a while. We spent hours talking with Willie about issues within the Yearly Meeting, FUM, FLGC and just about everything in between. And Willie could listen. For three hours he listened and explored with us about our relationship with our home Meeting. He had time for us.

Our time in North Carolina did not lead to any great revelations for me, no great conclusions drawn. I am still a Friend who worships most comfortably in silent worship, I still struggle with the issues of community dynamics and leadership within my Meeting, and I am still puzzled and fascinated by the varieties of Friends. However, now when Friends discuss our diversity, part of that diversity has a face--or many faces. I have memories of stirring Meetings for Worship, adult First Day class, Friends helping Ruthie to sing nursery rhymes when we all went carol singing, a magnificent Christmas meal and fellowship with Friends. I felt accepted, as a person, as a parent and as a Quaker. No one tried to convince me that my Quakerism should look different or that theirs was more "Quakerly" than mine. We were simply there--Friends living amongst Friends, all trying to live up to the Light in the way we understand it. Trying to practice love.