The Canadian Friend

November-December 1997

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 Diversity: Do we really want it?

Vanessa Julye - Philadelphia Yearly Meeting

Friends often tell me they want diversity. Instead of agreeing with them, I find myself asking them three questions: 1) Why? 2) Do you really? 3) Are you willing to change?

I am a convinced Friend. I was introduced to Quakerism through attending a Quaker boarding school. During my senior year, I felt the call to join the Religious Society of Friends, but could not because of the sense of isolation I felt as an African American in a predominantly white religion. It was not until some fifteen years later, when hired by Friends World Committee for Consultation, Section of the Americas, that I returned to Quaker Meeting for Worship.

When I joined the Religious Society of Friends, I knew there were certain parts of me that I was expected to keep separate from this community. I was willing to do this, but did not realize how much it cost me until I was able to understand how I had internalized the oppression endured throughout my life. I can cite numerous examples of unintentional prejudice and racist behaviours by Friends towards me. I and other Friends of colour find these small behaviours or short statements -- not meant to offend -- the hardest to confront, but they do offend us. Yet we make excuses to ourselves for why we do not inform Friends of our hurt. I would not have survived my first FGC Gathering in 1994 if I had not participated in the workshop "Internalized Oppression." We spent many hours sharing our pain and anger from the daily words and behaviours of other Friends. This was important for our survival within the community, to know that we were not alone.

Back to my first question, "Why do you want people of colour to be members of your Meeting?" Are our Meetings currently welcoming to everyone? Do we want to be welcoming to everyone? For me as a person of colour, being a Quaker means isolation and pain. Why would I encourage anyone else of colour to share in this experience? In all honesty, I cannot. I do make a point of welcoming people of colour who come to our Meeting. The question I get asked most often by these visitors is "How many people of colour are there in this Meeting?" The second question is "Do they attend regularly?" It is only natural to want to be around people with whom you are comfortable.

I led a workshop for FWCC, Section of the Americas, in May 1997 for our Northeast Regional Gathering. I asked my three questions and received many puzzled looks. I went on to explain that behaviours and words can have different meanings in different cultures. If I walk into your Meeting House on First Day to worship and you approach me with the simple and common greeting of "May I help you?" I will immediately want to turn around and walk back out the door.

This term is used daily by white Americans to give the unspoken message that we, African Americans, are not welcome, but because the law says we have a right to be here, we are expected to hurry up, tell the white person what we need and get out as quickly as possible.

Now you think you have been welcoming, but the person of colour has heard, "What are you doing here?" If the Friend had said, "Welcome, it is nice of you to join us for worship today," this would be heard and understood as the greeting for which it is intended.

Misunderstandings can occur on both sides. In August 1997, I visited New England Yearly Meeting (NEYM). While there, the behaviour of an African American male member of the Yearly Meeting was misinterpreted. When I first met this African American Friend, he greeted me in the complimentary manner with which I am familiar and which I experience often within the African American community. It was unexpected, but wonderful. Immediately, I felt myself blush and relax at the same time as I experienced part of my cultural heritage. I know some women when greeted by a man in this way, with a focus on physical appearance, find it superficial and demeaning. This Friend made several comments and behaved in ways throughout the week which were perceived as sexist. Several women approached the NEYM Sessions Committee to share their hurt from his comments and actions. Yet, as I observed his behaviour and women's reactions, I could see the collision of two different cultures. This behaviour is accepted and encouraged by both sexes within the African American community, but did it belong at NEYM? No, because African American culture is not a part of that or many other Quaker communities within the United States of America. He was expected to adapt and leave this part of his culture at home in the African American community.

One of the reasons I did not become a Quaker in high school was that I did not find any aspect of my cultural heritage as an African American within the religion. I was tired of being a token. As a middle class African American, I was raised in circles where I was either the only one, or one of a very few "minorities." I needed to see someone whose skin was brown, and with whom I could share my experiences of how it felt being in this exclusive environment. Quakerism could not meet these needs. Now I am older, more seasoned and at a place in my life where I can accept God's call.

These are just a few reasons why I see a need for change. So when I ask "Why?" and "Do you really?" I expect Quakers to say "Yes, I want diversity." I challenge Friends to take the time to get their Meetings to reach down in their souls and answer those three questions honestly. As a person of colour, I was raised to sense when someone believes in what they are doing, or is just concerned with being politically correct. I had to learn this skill as a means of survival in this country.

I know many other Friends would like to see more people of colour in our Meetings, but I feel called by God to help Quakers understand what that really means. It means changing things you say, being more flexible and willing to implement new traditions. I am a member of the Religious Society of Friends because God put me here. I am willing to accept the isolation and pain that it sometimes involves, but cannot honestly ask other people of colour to join me until I feel Quakers have examined the true meaning of diversity and its consequences.

Friends of colour are constantly being put in situations where our presence is questioned. For example, during that same week at NEYM a member of the Yearly Meeting joined an African American young lady, new to the Religious Society of Friends, for dinner and began a conversation with her by asking what she was doing there. This same person proceeded to make several hurtful racist comments to this African American Friend. The Friend of colour shared this incident with me, and members of her Meeting, who helped her bring it before the NEYM Sessions Committee.

This question, "What are you doing here?"is one I have asked myself on numerous occasions. Each time I have the same answer: Quaker values are my values. I believe there is "that of God in everyone," do my best to respect others, believe in the peaceful resolution of conflict, and am continually searching for the truth.

    Be patterns, be examples in all countries, places, islands, nations wherever you come, that your carriage and life may preach among all sorts of people, and to them; then you will come to walk cheerfully over the world, answering that of God in every one."

    George Fox (1656)

George Fox's words describe how I strive to lead my life. I know I am a member of the Religious Society of Friends. Why is it necessary for me to say this? I learned as a child that the concept of the United States of America as a "melting pot" is a myth. There is no "melting pot," but there is an expectation of assimilation. As a US citizen, I am expected to embrace and emulate middle-class white traditions as my own and forsake all others from my ancestors' countries of origin.

Right now I find the Religious Society of Friends to be a lot like the mythical "melting pot." People are welcome to become Quakers if they are willing to assimilate. Again, I ask, "Are you willing to change?" There is a lot of work to be done in our own Meetings to make them more welcoming for Friends of colour. I live in one of the most racist countries in the world, the United States of America, where I encounter racism every day as an African American female. I find it difficult when I confront systemic racist events face-to-face in what I expect to be safe, spiritually enriching Quaker environments such as Friends General Conference (FGC) Gatherings.

A tremendous amount of work has occurred since that first year in 1994, helping make the Gatherings a safer environment for Friends of colour. A good example of this change was our ability to speak out about our pain from the Underground Railroad Game during the 1996 Gathering. Had I been confronted with that game two years before, I would not have shared my feelings with anyone, outside of a few friends. However, I also would not have attended another Gathering or encouraged any other person of colour to participate. Fortunately, that did not happen. The progress which has been made with the Friends General Conference Gathering has come as a result of my and several other Friends' taking risks. We have participated in difficult discussions where our openness and honesty made us vulnerable. Speaking out, sharing my truth as an African American Quaker, is very frightening for me, yet it is something which I am continually asked to do. Why do I do it? I ask myself that constantly.

Currently there is one community, outside of my Meeting, within the Religious Society of Friends, which has demonstrated to me and other Friends of colour that our presence is truly welcome: the Friends General Conference Gathering. The work of the staff, Central Committee members and many individual Friends over the last four years produced a Gathering this summer in Harrisonburg, Virginia, which until now had only been a dream.

The 1997 FGC Gathering was a place of racial and spiritual healing. In the words of Deborah Saunders, James Madison University became "holy ground" for a week. The atmosphere was permeated with understanding. Friends were able to take risks because the environment encouraged us to listen, hear and respond. A special bond was created between the Centre for People of Colour and the Friends for Gay and Lesbian Concerns Centre. The worships and programmes sponsored by the Centre for People of Colour were powerful and life-changing. The theme of the Gathering was "Be Open, Be Transformed, Be Faithful," and we were.

I left the 1997 FGC Gathering with a sense of joy in my heart, knowing that by following my leading from God here, I was establishing a place within Quakerism where I could honestly invite other people of colour to join me. Work still remains to be done, but the Gathering has shown itself to be a welcoming community where I feel welcome and accepted for who I am, an African American Quaker.

Fortunately, God has provided me with a wealth of support from my Meeting and Friends of colour throughout the United States of America. Last September, under the care of my Meeting, I convened my first Worship Group for people of colour. These monthly worships help provide nourishment and the opportunity for me to worship, in my Meeting House, surrounded by brown faces and hearing messages which very much speak to my condition. Several Friends of colour who regularly attend the worship Group have shared how meaningful the worships are for them.

My answer to the often asked question, "What are you doing here?" is: this is my calling from God. I, as a member of the Religious Society of Friends, am responsible for sharing my experience as an African Ameri-can within Quakerism, among Quakers, to give the Society an opportunity to decide whether it is really able to be inclusive. If in fact the answer is no, it will mean the birth of another branch of Quakerism: a form of Quakerism within the United States of America where my image is visible and prominent.